Love
Mathematics.
Can
we love more than one person at the same time with the same type of
intensity and feeling without it being a betrayal to the other?
Of
course the answer will be positive and negative, depending on who is
answering. I aim to discuss the possibility that we can in fact have
enough love and ability to share it with many people rather than just
one individual.
My
theory is, that if the giver is pure in their intentions, then the
love they give can be received exactly as it is intended.
Now
at the outset of course I do realise that there are many forms of
love under the umbrella of the word LOVE. In the English language of
course we have come to use this word rather too flippantly and the
essence of love has thus been altered. For example you can love a
person an animal and food. They don't all get the same type of love
from you, though they can potentially share the warmth of your
intentions in the same amounts. But for the purpose of this post we
are talking about people, and about possible relationships with them
that may go beyond just friendship at the usual level. Now I can hear
you thinking, sex, intimacy, privacy and bonds of marriage. Well I am
talking about these too, but do realise most of us already have some
idea or guidelines or even laws regarding certain aspects of this
interaction.
Sex
for example: It would
seem that in many places monogamy/sexual-fidelity is the preferred
ethic. In fewer still multi-partner arrangements suit the needs of
some, and occasionally non sexual/celibate relationships are sought
out.
monogamy (mɒˈnɒɡəmɪ
)
Definitions
noun
- the state or practice of having only one husband or wife over a period of time Compare bigamy, polygamy (sense 1), digamy
- (zoology) the practice of having only one mate.
polygamy (pəˈlɪɡəmɪ
)
Definitions
noun
- the practice of having more than one wife or husband at the same time Compare polyandry, polygyny
-
- the condition of having male, female, and hermaphrodite flowers on the same plant
- the condition of having these different types of flower on separate plants of the same species
- the practice in male animals of having more than one mate during one breeding season.
celibacy (ˈsɛlɪbəsɪ)
Definitions
noun
- (religion) the state of being celibate
- abstention from sexual intercourse
Intimacy: Most people seem to see intimacy as the bit only shared between married or committed relationship partners. But intimacy can be directly related to the human touch, rather than simply sexual intimacy which is quite different. Relationships can be strengthened if we have physical contact, as the interactions cause a feel good factor few people recognise easily. Hugging is a prime example, as is kissing and or hand shaking. Trust is often given to the giver of intimacy, when the receiver instinctively feels it comes with honesty and integrity.
Privacy:
There are of course relationships that we want to conduct elements of
in privacy. I just wonder what our motives are if some of the
elements are not detrimental to others. Hugging, hand holding and
kissing for example are not offensive to me, unless they show no
regard for others. Having sex in public spaces would be frowned upon
by most people, and for good reason. But sex is not a dirty thing.
What some do with sex however is often considered such, and therefore
not acceptable in public forum. In front of children as a prime
example, or with children and animals. (Though it has to be
considered why it had been done through out our history)
Bonds
of marriage: This
institution has been around since the year dot of course.
Relationships contained within these bonds are often considered the
most beneficial to many people. The modern world however has a
differing view of the importance of marriage and I respect this too
as a sign of openness, if the doers are considerate of the
implications of this stance. Obviously sexual-fidelity is not limited
to marriage alone, this is a deeply personal matter. Many married
people deny their vows of chastity and fidelity as it suits them, we
can read about it everyday in the papers. But for many there is a
certain feeling of protection that comes with the contract of
marriage. An oath of intentions.
Now
to the meat of the article here. If we see fidelity as a proof of our
relationship status then we can only seriously consider one person to
receive intimate sexual contact with us. Some may stretch this a bit
to exclude kissing another person on the lips in a passionate way,
but mostly people base their relationships on this standard. If we
are single, then there is no great issue to answer to. We can sleep
with or have sex with, or kiss and fondle whom so ever we chose
without it unsettling our minds. Things will only bother us if we
know that we made a contract (be it verbal or in writing) with
another human being, who is expecting us to be honourable and have
integrity.
But what if we have many
relationships that don't include sex or behaviours that are
questionable?
I like to think that I am able
to determine well enough for myself what contract I make with a
person when I become involved in a relationship with them. So I can
happily have many friends, have many great experiences with others
and determine if a deeper intimate experience is allowable or not.
After all I am the one who has to live with my conscience. I try
never to make a promise, or even hint at one unless I am sure that is
my statement of intention. Of course I have to include the element of
another persons perceptive powers, that might infer or conclude
another thing. And if I make a dedicated attempt to say or do a
thing, I make my best efforts to adhere to this and succeed. But I'm
only as good as my best efforts.
I
have a friendship with a person whom I have never met for example.
She is an extraordinarily charming woman. A lover of life and of
truth from what I have gleaned. She is also very considerate towards
other sentient beings, very romantic and very creative in her
talents, and as such makes me love her dearly. On occasion this has
felt very strongly like a most desirable quality that I would love to
have at closer quarters to myself. To look into her eyes for example,
to feel her energy, to see how people respond directly to her love
and light, to hug and to feel energized by her company. But she is
not known to me in this way, she is married and lives in a far off
place. She is loved by many other people and one special person
shares her intimate contacts every night, and yet I am not in the
least jealous or envious because it is the wonderful love she
displays that has brought her this reality. That love has nothing to
do with me, but I can recognise it in her and feel attracted towards
it. I don't wish for things to become other than what they are, I am
grateful for the time she spares, sorry no, shares with me. Therefore
I believe that if we all saw things this way, we could all share her
light, her love and be equally empowered by her touch.
O.K.
so I am single and am allowed to have open relationships with people.
But the truth is, I wouldn't want to be different even if I were
myself in a dedicated and intimate relationship. I am at peace with
myself, because I honour my personal integrity to be a man of peace
of light and of love. How could I willingly do an injustice to
another sentient being? To have many relationships on equal footings
is definitely possible, providing that we are true to our intentions.
If we make promises we should strive to keep them. And we should
constantly review our methods and motives towards others, perfecting
our love and compassion.
For me the mathematics add up
to a successful life where love is shared with as many people who
care to accept it. My affirmation is this. Good things will happen to
those that seek the betterment of the other person ahead of their own
wants. I see god in the numbers.
I hope and pray that this will
help many, as it has helped me whilst writing and reflecting upon it.
May peace and love cover you
and protect you.
Love and Light.
Peaceful Warrior.
All pictures are from Google and represent no-one directly attributed to the article.
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