Respect.
This topic is often talked about
but do we really see, hear or feel exactly what the ramifications of respecting
one another can be?
I have had many experiences in
life to now speak about this subject with some desire to unravel the mysteries
that plague our world. Respect or a lack of it, is one of the key players in
todays' world, changing the way we are treated and treat others. I guess we can
all have an input about our personal experiences and the lack of apparent
respect on those occasions which of course would and will shape our opinions of
the topic. This is of course part of why I am writing this now, to discuss and
review how I myself came to my conclusions and how they are shaping the future
respect I can show and expect to receive. And of course to hear what you the
reader, also feel is contributory to the subject. Sharing our thoughts and
experiences may indeed help us all to respond more favourably towards the things
we do not always understand clearly.
There
is something, the knowing of which could change everything. (Neale Donald
Walsch)
What is the dictionary definition
of respect ?
respect (rɪˈspɛkt )
Definitions
noun
- an attitude of deference, admiration, or esteem; regard
- the state of being honoured or esteemed
- a detail, point, or characteristic; particular
⇒ he differs in some respects from his son
- reference or relation (esp in the phrases in respect of, with respect to)
- polite or kind regard; consideration
⇒ respect for people's feelings
- (often plural) an expression of esteem or regard (esp in the phrasepay one's respects)
verb (transitive)
- to have an attitude of esteem towards; show or have respect for
⇒ to respect one's elders
- to pay proper attention to; not violate
⇒ to respect Swiss neutrality
- to show consideration for; treat courteously or kindly
- (archaic) to concern or refer to
A deferential esteem towards a
person or quality.
So respect carries with it an
element of expectation even if it is nothing more than, that another would have
or display concern, responsibility or remorse over their own actions.
What happens when we disrespect
others?
I mean other than them feeling a
sense of sadness.
On so many occasions I have known
my own expectation levels to have been so high that I felt more disappointment
over my own lack of judgement than the actions of the other. That is often the
greater problem, how we avoid having expectations above what can be realised in
reality. But enough of this, we do feel let down, saddened even betrayed when
another’s actions show disrespect towards us, ergo a lack of respect. Inside we
often placate ourselves with the feeling that the other had no idea what the result
of their actions were going to reveal. Even worse is the consideration that
they acted despite this certain knowledge of the affect that their lack of
respect could cause. It may feel like a slight on us, an attack on us as a
person, being or entity. Obviously if we assume a high level of ego then of
course that would feel bruised, our pride damaged. Even if the actions of the
other were not intent on causing harm, distress or anxiety.
Do the actions of the other
always show a lack of respect, or can it be something else?
I see that respect is an action
towards me, but also a response on my part is needed to accept the action. Or
without it there is no respect or lack of it as a concept in our minds.
An example:
Someone throws a bucket of water
over us. Our choice is to feel hurt, wet, uncomfortable even angry. But if we
had been on fire, our clothes alight from an incendiary then would we have the
same acceptance of that action? Surely we would feel thankful, grateful and
even glad of the attention of that brave person. So is it not the way we see,
respond and are open to the actions of others that carry the greater weight of
responsibility? Feelings such as hurt, anger and betrayal are clearly responded
to by our ego in the above example. Feeling of being wet, uncomfortable and
cold maybe are real dynamics that we can choose to see in another light all
together. They are sensory responses and have no real attachment to the ego,
that part of us that would respond in another way entirely.
Of course where the problems come
for us, is when we see the actions of the other directly manifest against our
well-being, the sense of balance we attempt to maintain. A cross word, an
unfriendly comment, a direct betrayal of our expectation for decent honest
treatment can send us into this world of misunderstanding. But it would seem to
me that this is still the ego wanting its higher self to feel empowered and
justified in a negative response towards whom it seems to be the perpetrator of
the insult, slight or injury. Sadly we are all guilty of responding to an
insult, hurt and betrayal by focusing our response in places other than where
they seemed to originate, (i.e. the person who’s actions began the feelings of
apparent disrespect). This is not at all helpful or constructive, especially to
the third party now feeling the response of someone, something else’s actions.
And so injustice abounds pushed from one place to another freely and unabated.
It is our choice to be hurt,
glad, happy even disappointed. Everything is within our power to change
depending upon our understanding and openness to the situations life throws at
us. Respect is a vehicle that can be driven well or badly, taken seriously it
can build many solid foundations or tear apart trust and loyalty. In my own
experience I trust my intuitions that arise when I have the feelings that
respect has been abused, treated badly, driven without regard for others.
From a cosmic perspective our
lives and our feelings are possibly not as important to the fabric of that universe
and scale. It is when we come back to our own microcosm that the respect
evident becomes all pervasive in our minds. We should often try to go large,
see things from another place rather than focusing on tiny details, the minutia
of life. It may indeed help us to understand the relativity of all things and
also to put respect for others in another place, higher on the agenda of our
actions. None of us would want to be responsible for the lack of joy in the
life of anyone else would we?
I hope that the discussions here
have been of help, they certainly have to me in writing this. Seeing my
thoughts in text, reading them back to myself and correlating this piece has
given me yet another new perspective.
Please accept my love and respect
to each and every one of you. Let integrity to love, be the way you live, for
all the side effects of this are positive.
Love n light.
Peaceful Warrior.
